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Friendship Jokes

FRIENDSHIP TEST...

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS when u R 2GethEr.

It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

: FRIENDS

True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.

: F.U.C.K

REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!

: FRIENDSHIP IS....

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

: PRICELESS GIFT

FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!

: SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED

If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

 

: COMPARE

FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...

: FRIENDS 4 LIFE

Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

: COMPUTER

A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

 

: FRIENDS ALWAYS

In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!

 

: ANGEL FRIENDS

I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

 

: OUT OF MY CONTROL

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

 

: MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

 

: FRIENDSHIP

The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.

 

: NEVER SPLIT

I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.

 

: NEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS

I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.

 

: WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U

EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...

 

: BEHIND YOU

DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...

 

: NAKED

GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

 

: MAKING LOVE

After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time? Wrong. U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is tissue...tissue...plsss!!!

 

: KISS

A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. what is a kiss without a tongue.

 

: PAINTING

A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

 

: FALLING APART

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

 

: HOME EARLY

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

 

: NEVER LOSE ME!

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

 

: BEST FREN

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

 

: SHOOTING STARS

The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!!

 

: KEEPING A FRIEND

KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

 

: PROMISE

We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

 

: FLOWER

If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

 

: A RING

A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

 

: WONDERFUL FRIEND

There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!

 

: WAT U SEE

Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!

 

: FATE 2B FRIENDS

A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us.

 

: WHAT YOU SAY

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

 

: FRIENDSHIP MEANS...

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

 

: ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU...

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

 

: LEAVING FOOTPRINTS

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

 

: AS LONG AS....

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

 

: MY BRA

a gd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :)

 

: PRICETAGS

GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!

 

: OLD FRIENDS

Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.

 

: PATH OF FRIENDSHIP

The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)

 

: NIGHT PRAYER

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

 

: ABOUT ME

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?

 

: GOOD TASTE

A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a form of.. ehem GOOD TASTE!

 

: BE MY FRIEND

If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.

 

: RULES TO BE HAPPY

6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

 

: FRIENDS

Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...

 

: KISS MY ASS

The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!

 

: RING

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

 

: FRIENDS LIKE HAIR

Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough $money$ you can buy them back.

 

: NICE FRIENDS

A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...

 

Love Jokes

: YOUR SMILE

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

 

: WHO YOU ARE

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

 

: I'M STILL ALIVE...

TaLk 2 me wHen i'm boReD, kiSS me wHen i'm saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i'm sTill Alive...

 

: IN LOVE WITH YOU

It is not being in love that makes me happy... but is being in love with YOU that makes me happy.

 

: TRULY LOVE

It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don't ever let go.

 

: CHER|SH...

Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them because you won't know how important they are until they are out of your life...

 

: POEM OR RHYME?

Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time...

 

: 2NITE WITH ME

A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh... A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT... WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED bY YoU???

 

: LOVE YOU

Never WasTe an OppOrtuniTy 2 sAy 'I LoVe U' to Someone u ReaLLy Like, Coz it is noT EvEryDaY u'll mEEt tHe PerSoN WhO hAs tHe MaGic 2 lEt u fAll iN love...

 

: TRUE LOVE

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

 

: FRIENDS 4 LIFE

Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

 

: FIRST SIGHT

FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~

 

: VALUE OF LOVE

LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U VALUE EaCh OtHEr...

 

: STILL LOVING U

i hĺtę Smî|îŃg jűSt tO prEtęńD î'M ńOt hUrt. î hĹtE to gîGglę tO Show î'll ßę okĺY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stěll lovE YOU ßűt í'Vé tó SaY gooDbYę...

 

: NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO

Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I LOVE U' to your loved one!

 

: LOVE IS SO CONFUSING

Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?

 

: REALITY

Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

 

: WHY IS HE NOT MINE...

wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt mInE...

 

: NOT TOO YOUNG

No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.

 

: I FOUND U

Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.

 

: IT HURTS

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.

 

: FORGET YOU

It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

 

: IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

 

: FALL IN LOVE

People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again

 

: LOVE IS TO THINK

Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.

 

: IN LOVE WITH YOU

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.

 

: SOMEONE ELSE

The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.

 

: OUT OF MY CONTROL

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

 

: HEART TO CIRCLE

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

 

: WHO

I'd rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I'm not

: TRY TO FORGET

Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

 

: ADVICE ON LIVING

Dance like no one's watching; sing like no one's listening; love like you can't get hurt, and live like there's no tomorrow.

 

: QUICKSAND

LoVe iS LiKe QuiCkSanD - ThE DeEpEr yOu FaLL iN iT ThE HaRdeR iT iS tO GeT OuT.

 

: IN MY ARMS

You showed me how it is to be loved. Now I know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.

 

: WHAT IS TRUE

There's a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when U R gone. Mend me 2 ur side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, wat's simple is true, I love you.

 

: FLAME OF YOURS

I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!

 

- If love were to be taxed,
I would be the highest tax payer.


-you can't buy Love... but you can pay heavily. 


-Common sense is common, but... the use of common sense is uncommon !!!!


-Promises are like babies, easy to give hard to deliver.


-You need Money to call someone Honey.


-My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two Girlfriends.


-We can see more Grafitti's in girls toilet , WHY ?
Because their both hands are free.


-Definitions :

Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, 
and kills by his bills.

LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever

Cool Jokes

MATCHES

MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes... It's working.

 

: KNOWING YOURSELF

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

 

: WHO YOU TRUST

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

 

: GRATEFUL

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

 

: WASTING YOUR TIME

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

 

: THE WORLD

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

 

FIRST SIGHT

FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~

 

: VALUE OF LOVE

LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U VALUE EaCh OtHEr...

 

: STILL LOVING U

i hĺtę Smî|îŃg jűSt tO prEtęńD î'M ńOt hUrt. î hĹtE to gîGglę tO Show î'll ßę okĺY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stěll lovE YOU ßűt í'Vé tó SaY gooDbYę...

 

: NEWSPAPER

Some newspapers publish untrue news, but there is one thing that is true. What is it? >>> Date <<<

 

: NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO

Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I LOVE U' to your loved one!

 

: YOUR FUTURE

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get on well in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches.

 

: UNTIL IT'S GONE

It's true that we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

 

: NEEDS

Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need.

 

: HUGGING YOU

Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you... I wish that someday I'd dream about my pillow and I'd be hugging you.

 

: CHARACTER VS REPUTAION

Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoU ReputaioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!

 

: 1 HEARTBEAT

When I look at you, my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have!

 

: GIRLS ARE LIKE...

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

 

: LOVE IS SO CONFUSING

Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?

 

: IT'S OVER

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.

 

: IDIOT

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

: REALITY

Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

 

: FORGET ME NOT

Under the sea, there lays a rock. In the rock, there is an envelope. In the envelope, there is a paper. On the paper, there are 3 words... 'Forget me not'

 

: LIVE YOUR LIFE

When u were born, u were crying and everyone round u was smiling.. Live ur life so that when u die, u're the one who is smiling and everyone round u is crying..

 

: MAKE THE BEST OF IT

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everyting... they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...

 

: LIFETIME GUARANTEE

I got nothing else 2 offer, so 2 U, it's luv I going 2 send. It's nothing tat I borrowed, it's nothing I’d lend. This luv I’m sending has a Lifetime Guarantee!

 

: COMPUTER

A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

 

: TEARS

Don't cry for someone who don't worth while; the one who is worth, wouldn't make one cries..

 

: SEAT BELT

A Short thing, It gets Longer when U hold it, N pass between women Breasts, N enters into A hole What is it? 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt, U dirty mind.

 

: DESSERTS

When you are feeling stressed and about to breakdown, just remember: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.. it's a piece of cake!

 

: MEMORIES

Memories is treasured, no one can steal. Parting is heartache, no one can heal. Some'll forget you when you are gone, but I'll remember you no matter how long.

 

: DON'T BE SAD

If someone comes into your life and becomes part of you, but for some reason he/she could not stay, don't be too sad... be glad that your paths have crossed.

 

: SHINING STAR

You're like a shining star in the cold dark nite, you lead me, you guide me, you makes everything seems so rite...

 

: SHE..

She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it'S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt... The WaY She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl... ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On Air.

 

: I FELL FOR YOU

Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you

 

: RUNNING

aRe Ur LeGs TiReD? CoZ yoU'Ve BeEn RuNNiNg ThRoUgH My MiNd aLL DaY LoNg!

 

: 911

Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because She can't find the eleven!!!

 

: FRIENDS ALWAYS

In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!

 

: WHY IS HE NOT MINE...

wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt mInE...

 

: DON'T WANT TO LOST YOU

If yöü cän bé ävöědéd sěmply by clösěng r éyés, I wöüldn't blěnk ät äll for I dönt wänt to lét ä sécönd päss hävěng löst ä höńey lěké YÖü!

 

: CAN'T LET U GO

Höld ä trüé frěénd wěth böth yöür händs, dońt lét gö 4 trüé frěend cömés öncé ěn ä lěfétěmé. Thĺt's why ě'm hölděng yoü tight! Cänt lét Ü go

 

: NOT TOO YOUNG

No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.

 

: ANGEL FRIENDS

I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

 

: I FOUND U

Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.

 

: NEVER END

If I had a single flower for every time I thought of you I could walk in my garden forever, never finding the end.

 

: IT HURTS

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.

 

: SMILE

You do not know the effect you have on me because every time I see you my heart begins to smile.

 

: FORGET YOU

It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

 

: IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

 

: MY HEART BREAKS

I could fill a 1000 pages telling U how I feel, and still U would not understand.. So now I leave w/o a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

 

: A MILLION

A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.

 

: SWEETEST THING

Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.

 

: FALL IN LOVE

People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.


: CRYING FOR

I cry 4 the times U were almost mine. I cry 4 the memories I've left behind. I cry 4 the pain, the lost, the old, the new. I cry 4 the times I thought I had U.

 

: CRAZY FOR YOU

I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true, I never wanted anyone like this, it's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss, I'm crazy for you.

 

: NOT TO FADE

Looking back on all these years, all the smiles and all the tears, I never want these memories to fade.

 

: YOU ARE THE ONE

You asked me who I liked and I said no one... but what I really meant was no one but you.

 

: SLEEP FOREVER

If the only possible way we can be together is in my dreams, then I'll sleep forever.

 

: LOVE IS TO THINK

Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.

 

: IN LOVE WITH YOU

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.

 

: SOMEONE ELSE

The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.

 

: MASTERPIECE

God created men first, coz you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

 

: OUT OF MY CONTROL

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

 

: MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

 

: HEART TO CIRCLE

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

Funny Jokes

1)We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

2)I'M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I'M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING

3) All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.

4) If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

5) When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

6) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

7) Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

8) Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

9) I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

10) Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

11) Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

12) First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

13) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

14) Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

15) Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

16) Bad sex is better then a good day in school.

17) Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

18) Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

19) Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams......

20) My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

21) Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice?

22) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

23) Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole…

24) If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…

25) Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

26) Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis...........................ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry..............

27) Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

28) It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

JOKES ANIMAL

When geese fly in a "V", why is one side longer?
 Because there are more geese on that side

 

Why do cows wear bells?
 Because their horns don't work

 

What did the turkey say to the chicken?
 Gobble gobble

 

Why do hens lay eggs?
 If they dropped them, they'd break

 

Which side of the chicken has he most feathers?
 The outside

 

Doctor, I can t stop behaving like a dog.
 How long have you been acting this way?
 Since I was a puppy!

 

Two snakes meet each other..
 First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
 Second snake:Why?
 First snake:Because I bit my lip!

 

Q : What do stylish frogs wear?
 A : Jumpsuits!

 

Q : What did the frog order at McDonald's?
 A : French flies and a diet Croak

 

Q : How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
 A : Unhoppy

 

Q : What goes, 99-thump, 99-thump, 99-thump &
 A : A centipede with a wooden leg

 

Q : What do you get from a pampered cow?
 A : Spoiled milk.

 

What kind of work does a weak cat do?
 A : Light mouse work

 

Q : How do you identify a bald eagle?
 A : All his feathers are combed over to one side

 

How do you circumcise a whale?
 A : You need at least four skin divers

Love Quotes

it dos nt hurt me seeing you in luv wd sum1 else, not wen i c u so hapi wd her
n nt wen u dnt say hi 2 me. it hurts me knwing dat i shud've been in her place.

t's a luvly feeling 2 stand on d top of a hill & feel on ur face d touch of d
cool soft wind, he same is d feeling wenevr I hear ur voice & c ur smyl. 

There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd be happier if
we let them go. 

Days wil b spnt lyk yirs f dos days wil b spnt w/out u, smiles r lyk frwn f its
nt ment 4 u, but 4ever wil sound gre8t f u promise 4ever to me! 

FYT 4UR LOVE, dats ol dey say.LET HER KNOW & DON't LET HER GO, so what dey
think of. IT WUD WORK OUT is dey beliv in. SET UR HART FREE, its wat they see.
but how can i......wen 4u ITS NEVER ME?!!! 

everyone wants 2 be the sun dat lights up your lyf.But I'd rather be ur moon,so
I can shine on u during ur darkest hour when ur sun isn't around. 

Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true Luv not three, Luv not four
Luv d one who luvs u more Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who really sticks
Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d ne who really waits... 

If I had the letter "HRT", I can add "EA" to get heart or a "U" and get "HURT".
But Id rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than to have a "HEART" without "U". 

There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd be happier if
we let tham go. 

I would give up happines to never see you sad, I would give up eternity to be
with you always, I would give up my life so that yours would be new... I'd give
up everything... except you... 

the pain inflicted, is because the good times (no matter how brief) make it all
worthwhile. 

why say HI! if u mean I MISS U.. why say LET'S GO! if u mean I WANT 2 B W/ U..
why say STAY! if u can say B WITH ME... and why say I CARE wen ur heart says I
LUV U! 

i dont want 2 live anoder day if u're no longer der, 4 in dis lyf only u can
inspyr me 2 c d nxt sunrys, only u can motiv8 me 2 apprec8 d colors of lyf dat
no one else can. 

ts funny that all of the souls in this worls knows how i feel for you..but you
it seems that ur the only one who doesnt have the clue.. i just wanna tell you
what everybody knows and thats I LOVE YOU... 

not ol d tym i can go wid u. not ol d tym i can plis u. not al d tym im
available 4 u 2 tok 2. but 1 thing is 4 sure, i'l care 4 u even wen u least
expect me 2. 

dont set ppl free if u luv dem, keep dem and treasure dem and fyt for dem...
kaya nga pinaglaban kita eh, kasi LOVE KITA!!! 

Luv is only a gift gven 2 us, we shd not hold it in r hands 4 we may nvr find d
strength 2 let go wen it dcded 2 leave, we shd only mbrace 8s warmth & glow wyl
it last & den frily open r arms when its tme 2 say gudbye........ 

if someone asks me if ur good...il say ur not...if they say ur better...il say
ur not...why shud i say ur good or better if ur 1 of d best i ever had... 

id rather to loved and be hurt than nothing at all 

If you love someone, put their name in a circle instead of a heart, because
hearts can break, but circles go on forever. 

if you cud be a part of my body,i'd let you be my heart for i want you to be
the most important,be the center of ol my emotions and be the last 1 to stop
wen it's tym for me to "GO". . 

y hide ur f
lings 2 d 1 u love? y lav d 1 hu lavs anader? y give evrything if
only pain comes in return? y wait if ders nothing 2 wait 4? i guess d anser
is... LOVE 

i know its wrong 4 me 2 fall 4 u,but i cant get through it & if choosing ryt
means letting u go...then let me be wrong 4ever... 

my hart s made 2 luv u, my lips are made 2 kis u, my eyes r made 2 c u, my
hands r made 2 hold u .....evry part of me wants u, maybe bcoz i was made just
4 u!! 

u can close ur eyes wd d things u dnt want 2 c bt u can never close ur heart wd
d thigs u dnt want 2 feel. 

U promsd 2 tke cre of me bt u hrt me, u promsd me 2 brng me joy bt u brought me
tears, u promisd me ur luv bt u gave me PAIN....ME? i promised u Nothing but i
gave yoy EVERYTHING!!!!

 

Sunilmachhi


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